May or May Not Monday

May or May-Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure. So go on... own up. I may have...

I may or may have not had a water bottle fall out of the trunk and land on my sandaled foot. I actually went In To have it x-rayed in a new attempt to do the right thing when it comes to my health instead of just suffer through it. It’s not fractured, hoo and ray, but treatment plan is the same regardless. I just have the assurance that when there’s shooting pain my bones aren’t going to snap.

I may or may not have a charming child in a finger splint because he got kicked doing a taekwondo sequence with my other charming child. I waited a few days before an X-ray and well I’m frankly not wanting to spend more money if its going to be fine or raise questions about abuse with these limbs needing X-rays in a span of a few days. 

I may or may not have had to overnight a set of keys to a particular person so they could drive to work and get into their office. My chargers also have walked off. There’s been some growing pains with this new job situation.

I may or may not have gotten particularly grumpy about heat. Could it be that this life long summer girl is a winter girl? Give me all the cold and snow? I think so. Plus, there are zero allergy issues to worry about in my darling husband and charming child. And our neighborhood pools have gotten uncomfortably crowded and it’s  not fun.

I may or may not have wondered if I had gotten over my superpower of feeling the pressure change with all of the 70,000 mg of b vitamins I take daily. The last seventeen days of thunderstorms have assured me that I have, in fact, not.

I may or may not be the kind of girl that when given a suburban as a rental goes out and buys a tree. It’s not often I have that kind of hauling capacity.

I may or may not be the type of parent who now doles our pushups for behavior choices. Like I don’t care that your finger is hurt, you were supposed to be eating not sparing. Then you can ice it when you’re done.The charming children are either going to be very self regulated or quite cut . Win win?

I may or may not be breaking the Enneagram rule of diagnosing others with their number. Others being my charming children (they don’t know it) and my darling husband (he knows it and doesn’t want to put in any work for it, just tell me what I am and what I need to do). Works for me and I also think when others post what they think they might be, how do you not see and know yourself? But I’m not one to chime in and say explain why you are. It’s their job to sort it out.  

I may or may not be memorizing Shakespeare with my charming children and finding it to be a delightful exercise for us all. I’m just glad they are as invested and interested in putting this knowledge into their heads. What cool kids I have.

I may or may not have allowed my charming children to hand feed a robin baby in the hopes of getting it out of the nest with the rest of its family. Nature is cruel to those just one small step behind the rest. Thankfully I have resident bird experts so I don’t have to do any research to figure out the rules of dos and donts. Or prepare their hearts for unfair deaths. I just have to do that with their dad.

May or May Not Monday

May or May-Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure. So go on... own up. I may have...

I may or may have not been given a second chance at joining the field trip to the historical farmhouse with a different school on the schedule. It turned out to be delightful and I am so grateful for second chances. 

I may or may not have recommended a board game on my IG account that costs an arm and a leg and had no idea because I checked it out from the library. A small voice said I need to check prices before I recommend education items but a bigger voice said I don’t have time for that and people can make adult decisions about it. 

I may or may not have cleaned out the garage while my darling husband was out of town and decided that if he didn’t take the time to put stuff away, I didn’t need to either so in the trash it went. My trash can may not be able to contain any trash from inside my house this week. 

I may or may not have watched the kids on the field trip continuously get the answer wrong for adding three numbers together because they aren’t being taught column math. It was disheartening to watch them try so hard and then tell them they didn’t get the answer correct. These were capable kids too. Boys and girls both struggling. No typical stereotypes for why they were not successful. 

I may or may not have not bothered to look at the farmhouse watering schedule that I made for the week and decided I wasn’t going down there this week. I received a text for a tutorial since it was my watering day could they come learn. Oh goodness I’m glad I got that text because I just dropped grass seed down there Saturday and it needs a fighting chance to take. And here I was not paying attention at all to my own schedule. 

I may or may not have trusted my darling husband to pick up the grass killer off the shelf while I stood eight feet away. We talked about it being organic and proceeded to go home and use the whole container before I looked at it and it’s not organic. Same brand just not the organic one. Now I await our slow punishing death via pesticide. 

I may or may not have gotten a call about a box missing from a library kit. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out if it came with one or if it somehow ended up in our recycling can. I’m still unsure about the whole thing but no one in the family remembers a box with the kit. 

I may or may not have checked out a second copy of a kids novel because we hadn’t gotten to it and our renewals were getting low. I didn’t want to be stuck mid story and decide to have to pay for it and return it late. This book has received great reviews. We read three chapters to give it a good try and hated it. So both copies have been returned and my urgency for a backup plan was for naught. Why are dark books so appealing to people? Especially in kids books.

May or May Not Monday

May or May-Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure. So go on... own up. I may have...

I may or may have completely forgotten to put a field trip to our historic farmhouse in my calendar and missed it this morning. Oh no! How will my charming children get socialized? I am chalking it up to week three of single parenting and just dropping the ball somewhere was bound to happen. 

I may or may not have pulled out of my dryer from one load of laundry: 20 flower seeds a charming child collected and left in pockets, two molars yup you read that right human teeth that were lost last week and apparently put in pockets - a downside of not doing the tooth fairy gig, and a large amount of string that ensnared the clothes so tightly, wound in knots that I had to use scissors no less than seven times to free the clothes. 

I may or may not have moved the outgrown bookshelf to the garage when we got the new one and for some reason my darling husband laid it down and we found a teeny black widow doing it’s job killing spiders that came by the web. He killed it but sheesh it was in my house. Thankfully I’m a reasonable person who realizes our danger level was very low because they hide. But it makes me think it’s payback for killing the one outside minding its own business last year. 

I may or may not have told a group of ladies I can’t do what you’re asking me to do and they said oh sure you can, you have a month. I cried behind my sunglasses and thankfully had a group of people came to  help me complete it. But I said I can’t, not that I don’t have time. 

I may or may not have outgrown my shorts that I live in during the summer. Nope kids, outgrowing things as an adult does not mean I got taller. 

I may or may not have so many things on my plate homeschooling and running a household that laundry is once again hanging out in what’s becoming a folded mountain on my bedroom floor.  I’d been doing so well at putting it away for so long but it is what it is. 

I may or may not understand how it takes 50% of your data to use gps in one day. This feat has been accomplished by my darling husband who claims he’s not using data for anything else so is his phone just extra special?

I may or may not have taken to putting the charming children to bed and then instead of making myself a meal snacking on gf bread in my bed to fill my tummy and fall asleep. Award winning habit right there  folks. Do not follow suit. 

May or May Not Monday

May or May-Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure. So go on... own up. I may have...

I may or may have not communicated with my darling husband that my cell phone was in a used cardboard box. That cardboard box ended up in the bottom of the wheelbarrow with loads of yard debris on top. We walked it a quarter mile to the dumpster and dumped the pile in. As we were packing up to leave I realized where my phone was, in the dumpster. Needless to say, my darling husband hopped in and retrieved the undamaged and hardly dirty cell phone and it lives another day. I’m thankful we didn’t throw hundreds of dollars away.

I may or may not have dropped off a ridiculous amount of clothes my charming children outgrew since the last giveaway. We decided to give it to a women’s shelter and expose the charming children to what others journeys entail. We entered the secure facility and while the workers were very kind the ambience of the receiving area was sad. I had the wish that someone would donate their talents are decor to make it homey and welcoming to the women and children coming for help. Know anybody that would love to do that? 

I may or may not have had a really rough month with trying meds out to help my body heal. Let’s just leave it at I’m a sensitive Sally. We were hoping to get me to a much higher functioning level before the single parenting season happening for the next few months. But no dice. Thousands spent and just more answers on what’s not going to work to fix me. So we keep on keeping on. 

I may or may not have ordered an allergy mask for my charming child that is allergic to outside. It’s sitting in a warehouse in Georgia while we await the ticking time bomb that is spring to fully arrive here. 

I may or may not have prayed for a new bookshelf for our homeschool materials. We have outgrown ours and had piles and piles of things in my living room. Yesterday a hutch popped up for sale on our community fb page for $20. Done and done. It looks so nice and my piles are dealt with. The freshness feels so good! 

I may or may not have finished overhauling and redesigning the garden beds at the farmhouse today. It’s been tricky finding plants because they are barely in the stores. Usually our weather is way colder and planting before the end of April results in dead plants. This year I had annuals survive. You should be reading that seeing my eyes huge and my hands saying that’s crazy. Cause crazy it is. And crazy am I that I started planting in March? No there’s method to my madness. So far in my just about seven years, the weather has come in cycles of two years of similar patterns. Last spring had a very early last frost and the weather followed the same pattern up to that point this spring so I knew I was in the clear and would actually get a growing season. Though the stores didn’t adjust their plant availability this year and I’m convinced they missed out on a bunch of revenue. 

The rooster at the farmhouse decided to attack my charming child and I may or may not have volunteered to kill the roosters since they constantly attack children. I have yet to receive a response but rooster slaughterer was not something I ever thought would be on my resume. Never say never folks.

May or May Not Monday

May or May-Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure. So go on... own up. I may have...

I may or may have taken on an official position at the historical farmhouse as head of the garden committee. This seems like a totally reasonable time to start a new job. I mean attending meetings, giving recruitment speeches, asking people to sign up for watering six days a week for six months and mowing on Saturdays, and creating a schedule for it, running emails, training volunteers, asking for donations from businesses that all have a different method of forms to fill out - in person, online, official letterhead. On top of working my tail off 15+ hours cleaning up the property with my family. See totally the smart move. Resume builder for when I have to get a job after not “working” for 20 years. 

I may or may not have been on a candida diet and the side effects of the anti fugal pills has been too much. Dizziness and feelings of doom like I won’t wake up when I go to bed and some unpleasantness with my bowels has added to my life going smooth as pie this month. I’ve asked to change meds. Just waiting to hear back. I don’t think I am being unreasonable. 

My darling husband has had to find a job out of state. He’s applied for 70 jobs here and only been granted two interviews. He got both jobs but we’re not willing to work for 48k and no benefits or 60k - we could not eat on that salary. The same type jobs pay 90k where my amazing parents live. They have graciously allowed my darling husband to live with them during the week. So for six months we will only see each other on the weekends he can fly home. We are planning on an extended visit to the grands this summer. Say a prayer for us cause man o man this is going to be hard. 

My charming child may or may not have decided we are now a fishing family after watching Laura Ingalls school an experienced adult at fishing for catfish with her dough balls. My darling husband is in heaven! He’s been waiting for this. Thankfully our library has pokes and tackle boxes to check out to see if this sticks before buying the gear. 

I may or may not have to take extra b12 vitamins because the 62,000 % of daily value was not enough. How is that possible you ask? I know crazy. Genetic mutation. 

I may or may not still be working on the enormous blanket my charming child started with his yarn. We’ve now gone twice to get more yarn. So far it’s up to a $40 project. I wouldn’t spend that in a store on a blanket! So crafting strikes again! It’s the experience that counts right? 

I may or may not have deep cleaned my house on Saturday because sneezing from spring waking up began. I have the roomba running daily in their room in hopes of actually sleeping the next few months. It’s shocking to see how much gets picked up daily. 

A fish that I may or may not have wanted jumped tank through a tiny slit. I thought it had been eaten by his tank buddy until it was found on the counter behind the tank. No hard feelings about it. The charming child told me he took care of it. Impressed I asked if he flushed it. Nope, I put it in the trash up there. Nawh bro, you’ve got to flush it or put it in the outdoor trash. No fish funerals here. 

May or May Not Monday

May or May-Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure. So go on... own up. I may have...

I may or may have inadvertently skipped the entire month of February with this series. I mean I’m not going through anything emotional or anything, I just forget it’s Monday most weeks or that Monday means blog entry day. 

I may or may not have been really disappointed with our snowfall this year. We didn’t even hit our average but we set records for rainfall. Have you had the opportunity to watch it rain and rain and rain at 32.7 *F? 

I may or may not have found it funny that on March 1 the county declared winter over and sent the street sweepers out to clean up all the sand they throw on it for “traction”. They aren’t wrong. We’ll maybe get a few dusting through May but nothing exciting. 

I may or may not have turned 37 in my absence and always dislike turning an odd number year. Maybe that’s the reason behind my absence. 

I may or may not have around 200 items checked out from various library branches. Games, anatomy models, chapter books, picture books, reference books, puzzles. Now you’re thinking that’s insane. Probably but we usually get to renew stuff for five months so the stash grows and we get good use out of the games that we could never afford to buy. And then I feature it on Instagram so others get ideas to enhance their kids’ learning experience. 

I recently read a book The Feather Thief (highly recommend) that makes the statement that man can justify anything. I may or may not have done that in the previous statement. 

I may or may not be attending my day time library book club that has a mandatory read for all library book clubs in March. The two of us decided we were going to ignore their pick because they are not our cup of tea and always feel the need to pick edgy, make you feel bad stories, that give you secondary trauma from reading it. We are meeting to chat most likely about Michelle Obama’s new book since we both just read it. See how we are rebels? 

I may or may not have started back working at the historical farmhouse finishing clean up so we can get it sparkling this spring. Yesterday you would have found me In Sorel wool snow boots, wool socks, lined pants, and a tank top! Clearly the right uniform for 38-42* weather. Granted I started with a sweatshirt and winter coat but got hot chopping and raking. The sun can be surprisingly warm here year round. 

I may or may not have purchased a house plant for my bedroom that I have been on the lookout for, for over 2.5 years. At checkout the gal behind me told me hers is twelve feet tall. I need a sunny spot and a weekly same day watering schedule. I thanked her and later told my darling husband that was great information and I’m not going to follow any of it. I don’t want a twelve foot tall plant at all. 

May or May Not Monday

May or May-Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure. So go on... own up. I may have...

I may or may have been thinking for awhile that my littles are so little as they were when I started this series six and a half years ago and that they need a new title on here. Henceforth, they shall be known as my charming children. 

I may or may not be scrambling to find pants to fit my charming child that has up until this week need slim cut legs. He’s not sprouted up but out in girth. He’s gone from slight to tank! So I did something I’ve never done, bought him wide leg pants so he can sit and not bust a seam! 

I may or may not have purposely driven my family home from Walmart yesterday and only pointed it out after we had driven by the skid marks left earlier this week by the full dump truck that came barreling through a red light at 40 mph and barely missed hitting my darling husband as he started to turn left at his green light. My darling husband slammed on his brakes when he realized the dump trunk wasn’t stopping which alerted the dump trunk who slammed on her breaks ten feet before the intersection and swerved leaving a few feet between the two vehicles as of course it couldn’t stop in that small amount of space. 
His response as he sat there for a bit was, “I don’t have time for this! Oh wait, that would have killed me.” My response to him telling me when he got home, “Well at least we weren’t fighting when you left.”

We’ve been watching Psych and I warned my charming children that an episode was creepy and they probably should not watch it and you’re at your own mercy if you do. Don’t come running to me if you have bad dreams. I may or may not have been told at the end by one of my charming children - the other listened to the show from the stairway, “I am made of sterner stuff than you, Momma!”

I may or may not have a rule that you cannot ask me what I’m making in the middle of cooking. I never know what it’s going to be! Yesterday we “coined” the idea of cakies. I made chocolate chip pumpkin dough and cooked it in the shape of cookies but they taste like cake. Cake + cookies = cakies.

I may or may not have turned on Marie Kondo’s show for background noise while preparing food for the week - Sundays are my big cooking day. I was mildly curious about the show with all the hype going around. My darling husband watched a few episodes and then went and Kondoed - we’re making this a word and verb - the bathroom. I should have turned this on sooner!